This has been frequently requested of me ever since my earlier post about ‘The Six Month Conversation’ resonated with so many people. This follow up is about the framework Alexis and I devised with hopes of guiding our life journey together independently and as a couple. I know this post is arriving several years late, after tons of requests, so thanks everybody for your patience!
Having attended about dozen events as a guest speaker / professional delegate since 2017 started, I've noticed a pattern that feels like it should be talked about: people do not ask for what they want and do not follow up properly.
I am reminded of this quote, which I first saw at 14 years old on a poster in my highschool hallway, and which I have tried to live by ever since: You miss 100% of the shots you don't take in life...
In the beginning of February, I announced that I would begin a search to find the next chapter of my journey. The most important part to me is finding the right organizational values, direction, and fit. Secondary to that would be getting my bum in the right role, which I see as a matter of growing into from within.
It has been 45 days since this search began...
I've recently taken to finishing up notebooks with incomplete pages that are strewn about the home.
The notebook I am currently using to chronicle my dreams was one that I used sporadically throughout 2011-2014. In this journal, I found to-do list I'd written in 2012 while pondering and planning the future. Reading this today, in 2017, I am surprised by how many of these items I have actually completed.
I've been hearing this theme come up in many conversations with folks I've mentored during the past couple of years. It's such a joy to see that they are now at the point in their careers where they are pursuing a move into managerial positions, have been recently promoted into leadership roles, or are beginning to forge down the entrepreneurial path.
If you are in such a position, this post is for you. This post is about something which is most commonly referred to as the burden of leadership. The burden of leadership can be hard to understand because it's not altogether logical or intuitive. When it is discussed among people not already in such a role, it is often with limited information and only in passing during a conversation about other topics. However, the burden of leadership is something that comes with the territory and its implications should be seriously considered beforehand.
I am writing this post to offer my thoughts on this topic, and I hope it will help you consider how you might approach your new leadership roles and help you plan ahead to set yourselves up for success…
Self-esteem is not something that should be outsourced to others.
People have enough trouble dealing with their own self-esteem issues, their own drama, their own everything... heaping yours on top is too much to deal with.
Blaming is a manifestation of this: you are outsourcing to a boss, the economy, a relationship, past work.
Understand that everything can be thought of independently. This wisdom helps one get crystal clear about the self.
I first learned of these while attending Vipassana (10-day silent meditation course). Towards the end of the sit, students are taught about the Ten Pāramī (Wikipedia), the universal characteristics to nurture in order for one to attain 'perfection' or 'completeness.'
These are the same characteristics which have been touted throughout the ages in popular literature as what we should aspire to. The specific meaning has evolved a little as the times have changed, but our human condition has remained relatively constant so they are still highly relevant.
