What's up?

In the beginning of February, I announced that I would begin a search for the next chapter of my professional journey. 

In this search, the most important part to me is finding the right organizational fit based alignment with its lived values, strategic direction, and people culture. Secondary to that is getting my bum in the right seat, which I perceive to be a matter of growing into a role once inside the doors. 

How you doin?

It has been 45 days since this search began, and it's certainly been a journey. I've found the past month and a half to be an intense mix of feeling excited, dejected, inspired, drained, and grounded.

In this time, I've arranged dozens of informational meetings/calls, submitted so many applications, and been through tens of job interviews, including up to a half-dozen rounds with some companies. If you're familiar with my feeling towards interviewing and my personality, you can appreciate how this has been a highly involved experience for me with high highs and low lows.

The highs have been amazing, to meet and exchange dialogue with genuine people who are highly competent professionals and positively inspiring people. The lows have been dealing with organizations that have extremely poor hiring processes in place, and with people who are unapologetically incompetent and disingenuous.

Thankfully, there have been more highs than lows, and I have been well supported by my family, friends, and personal network through the lows. If this is you and you are reading this, please know that I am grateful to you. Lots of love and hugs to all of you. 

Where things at now?

For the past week, I have been in the difficult position of having a couple job offers while still being in the selection process for other opportunities. At this point, I'd been feeling worn out from all the aspects of a job search, especially the emotional roller coaster that comes with it. I was also starting to feel a bit as Sean Kernan describes here.

Is the right decision to follow the conventional wisdom of, "a bird in hand is worth two in the bush"? I honestly don't know. I've got two good opportunities at growing companies with cool people doing interesting things. But I'm not in love with either of them, there's this creeping feeling of doubt in my heart. 

The three things on my mind: (1) a friend of mine often posts to social media with the #neversettle hashtag, (2) Mark Manson writes about the Fuck Yes or No criteria for simplified life decision-making, and (3) the misattributed quote, "Our lives are a sum total of the choices we have made." -- Woody Allen? Albert Camus? Wayne Dyer? 

I think what pushed me to a resolute answer was attending an early-morning spin class. This was my very first spin class, and I've been trying to psych myself up for it over several months. The class instructor, also my friend and somebody I work with, is amazing in everything they do. This class helped me discover and draw from an inner reserve of strength that was previously out of sight. One theme of the class was, "the way you do one thing is the way you do everything." This was it. This was the nudge I needed. 

Fuck Yes or No? The offers I had were not resounding yeses, so my answer will be no.

Where to next?

Who knows what cards I'll continue to be dealt going forward. This process has knocked me down a few times and will probably keep doing so. I've already shown up so what's next is to keep getting back up on my feet as I stumble and fight towards reaching that golden opportunity.

All I can be certain of is, it's going to be a choice I make where I'm in for 100%

#neversettle